Write a Poem about Yourself in which Nothing is True by Meara Maccabee

i hate the smell of cigarettes
i love that i hate the smell of cigarettes
i love that i hate smoking cigarettes

the only people who have touched me are people whom i have loved

i am not self-destructive because
my body is a temple and
my mind is a temple and
both deserve to flourish

the only people i have touched are people whom i have loved

i love the ocean precisely because it is big
i love the ocean because i love being reminded of why life is beautiful
i love the ocean because i love being reminded of why i should keep living

i have never given someone permission to hurt me

i have never given myself permission to hurt me

i only love people who love me back

but

i never overtip
i never fall in love with little pieces of people and i never borrow those pieces for myself so i can carry that
person around with me

i do not like being spontaneous and i do not like midnight 7/11 parking lots and i do not like it when the
music plays so loud that it bursts out of the car windows and spills into the atmosphere so the astronauts
can enjoy our soundtrack

i buried my youth years ago, traded in wide-eyed wonder for a wrinkled brow and crossed arms

i never, ever, eat anything unhealthy with the justification of “fuck it”

i am not glad that i am alive, right now, lying to you